From Emo to Science.

During Bio yesterday we were asked to translate ‘layman’s terms’ into scientific terms. So, we’re like given this paragraph, with no idea at all how to translate it.

So, “John was driving when a pebble hit his windscreen. He swerved the car and it hit the lamp post. The windscreen was shattered to pieces.” We’re like all sitting there in silence, and the bio teacher is like not giving us any hints, so we write our own piece of ’scientific’ thing. Then we Share.

Bock’s reads like, “Jown was driving his car at -blank- km/h when -blank size- pebble hit his windscreen at an angle of -blank- degrees and -blank- velocity. He swerved the car to the -blank direction- and it hit the lamppost at -blank- speed and with -blank amount of force-. The windscreen was shattered into -blank- pieces.” This is rather amusing, already. The whole class is cracked up (and I don’t mean in terms of sunburned skin).

Then Stella, the total creative genius, Shares hers. So, in her slightly agressive sounding voice, she goes, “John was operating a petrol-driven navigational gadget when a small spherical accumulation of sediments propelled itself at the transparent covering of his car. He involuntarily started, causing his navigational gadget to make a sudden lateral movement and to collide into a tall vertical device used for the emission of thermal energy. Consequently, the bonds between the particles of his transparent exterior covering were severely weakened, causing it to disintegrate.”

So now everybody’s hilarious and Stella becomes a celebrity. “Oooh, can I have your that thing to copy?” It really IS very funny. So when we find out the actual so called correct translation is something as boring as “The impact of the pebble on the windscreen led to the collision of the car and the lamp post. This resulted in the shattering of the windscreen.” we’re all rather… i don’t know, disappointed.

Then Ms Chng (bioteacher) gives us a seocnd, even dumber thing to translate. It’s a paragraph of emoshit, really.

“John (whyisitalwaysjohnanyway) took in a deep breath, gulping in a lung-full of the fresh air around him before letting it all out again with a sorrowful and woeful sigh.”

Now it is my turn to demonstrate my creative genius, so I manage to reduce it down to a quivering shaking mess of two words afraid of my wrath. So when it is my turn to share, I go, all brilliant, like, “He respired.” A moment of silence, and then Crystal giggles and then the whole class is off. I feel appreciated.

: DD

On another sourer note, fractions speak louder than nerds. Explains why I’m total crap at math.

Indices entice me to run around in circles screaming, surds make me want to hurl, and algebra is a fascinating thing when I wonder about which pervert thought up the term. Anyway, what is the point of finding out what x is when it means something different every time?! I realize it isn’t a very mature point of view but then again, I’m not the one who goes, “Whatever. Be that way. See if I care!” /sulk/

They could change it to Z, then maybe it wouldn’t be so boring. Really. Z is a mys’try letter.

I got booked twice yesterday. One because of socks, and oen because of nametag. Stupid lah. I forgot to wear my nametag in the morning, so I went through the whole day without anyone telling me and then at lunch I get this stupid smarmy prefect telling me I’m sec three and I should remember to wear it. And then I have no socks except for this ankle pair, and a lime green pair. I make the prudent decision to wear the ankle pair, because I figure people will believe that my laundry turnover is really very slow (seriously, laundry once every one and a half weeks) and I don’t have any other socks. So Smarmy Prefect says that I should buy more socks. Eff her, really.

Stupid smarmy prefect, smarming me as smarmily as if she were Mrs Smarm! (Terry Pratchett is sheer literary genius in a small paperback.)

That makes it six bookings since the start of the year, meriting a two-hour dc and a beta. The PB hasn’t even managed to catch up to my first one-hour detention yet. Brilliant.

~ by sydney on January 26, 2007.