&i feel like a newborn child

(every time i get a chance to see you smile)

so i went skating today, at the runway skate (flagoff time was 8 30 am, we got there at nearly 9. typical, really). finally decided to do the 15 km route instead of the 6 km one. happened to bump into sebastian on the way to the starting point, and convinced him to skate 15 km, on top of the 6 km he’d already done. poor thing. had to endure his constant chatter, which was kinda nice at first but got kinda ‘omg how can he still talk i’m so out of breath!’ after the first 10 km. usually i skate alone, so it was different to have someone to skate with. not entirely sure how fast he could go (he’s aggressive, i’m inline. different skates, different style) so kinda slowed down my speed for him. this isnt as.. demeaning as it sounds because my skates are built for speed and they have larger wheels than his. so, he would naturally have to expand more energy to acheive a certain speed than i would be expanding ._. the upside of this was that i think i got less tired than i usually would have.

actually, i would have considered the route to be chicken feet (that is, not tiring), but there was tons tons tons of wind (going against my direction of travel) and the runway we were skating on was super rough. and everywhere was uphill in the most tiny gradient, but given the wind and road condition it felt like times million the gradient. okay i’m exaggerating, but.. yeah. it was fun. and I MUST GET FIT yes i must.

a bit of admin stuff : created a new category for my wordpress, mundane everyday. i decided though my life isnt that boring, not everything can be classified as something of interest. gets a bit, well, mundane after a while. won’t be bothering to change every posts’ category, though. so that’s just to inform you my dear reader, posts classified into the category of mundane everyday are not necessarily totally mundane.

yeah and i wrote lyrics recently. been a long time since i wrote any lyrics, but listening to the band boys like girls inspires me to write. don’t know why, but they’ve got great, catchy melodies and cool lyrics included. go check them out, they’re on myspace. plus, kester looks like the lead singer (and rhythm guitarist, but kester plays bass so ah well) haha! and people on youtube commented on their video for their song hero/heroinethat the ‘lead singer’s really hot’. hmm kester = hot? haha he used to be a chick magnet when he was 8 or something. once a chick magnet, always a chick magnet, i suppose. and in the vein of music, i must say i rediscovered my penchant for catchy teen pop haha. been listening to perfect day by hoku almost on repeat, it’s from the legally blonde soundtrack.

really, i think my taste for music expands to songs with catchy tunes, sing-along ones. great lyrics that make me want to go to the person who wrote them and gush, fangirl-like, “omigod i love your lyrics i wish i could write like you do”! even though writing lyrics isn’t really the hardest form of writing, i guess- they’re a bonus. and songs that make me want to dance! haha like christina aguilera’s ain’t no other man- that’s got a really great beat. figures that i don’t like hip-hop and rap songs, but r&b is okay.

right anyway the lyrics i wrote suck. as usual. out of my groove i suppose. and yeah everything about me has deteriorated except my violin playing, which has in a sense improved, but that’s only because i’m putting more strength into my playing. my grades down: check. (oh yeah that reminds me, gotta go get my report book. oh god i don’t know what my GPA is but i’m sure it’s something i wouldnt want to show my mum aaaahh damn damn damn!) my body getting less fit (hell, i’d even say i’m fat but i just can’t hen i’m obviously not fat fat yet): check. my own writing down: check. yay pity party please.

i haven’t finished my math tuition homework. gotta finish it by today, because i have chinese project stuff tomorrow and tuition on tues and wed. actually looking forward to it, don’t know why. i guess it’s because when i’m around kenric or ian, i laugh tons more than i would when i’m with other people. they’re fun people. then again- it’s not exactly a megatask to get me smiling/laughing. except when i’m super super down.

and maybe that’s what i am. when i was talking to sam yesterday, i could feel that my heart wasn’t in the conversation. usually i find at least one thing he says funny, but yesterday was like ‘okay leave me alone already’! and because i felt like that, i also ended up feeling like a really bad friend. ahaha maybe that’s because i have no real friends thank you for noticing.

god what’s wrong with me? wake up, i do have friends. ugh gotta shake this, been feeling loner too much lately.

~ by sydney on June 3, 2007.