capacity for shamelessness

i must spend less time with charmaine chan because if i spend more time with her i will soon become bimbo and have a le stupides walk like she does. and of course i am not already bimbo. now why would i be such a thing?!

but anyway, charm and i came up with this hotness scale thing which has five levels. in long john silver’s, while i was helping her with her chem (which incidentally, i don’t take).

1. hot hot
2. cute hot
3. cute cute
4. cute ugly
5. ugly ugly

i’d place myself under 4. my list of real life hot guys is quite sad because the person ranked #1 is an ri guy who is 3 on the hotness scale. actually he’s only #1 to save myself some embarassment because srsly, the #1 person if i was even shamelesser than i am now would be his brother, who has a pretty girlfriend.

if you’d like to know which category i place you under just uh, msn me or something. unless you don’t care how i think of you (i.e. are similarly shameless) then just comment here. i’m known to be quite mean so drop it like it’s hot bring it on.

leave/stay/wander?

leave
she was only fifteen when she got high
at the club on a Saturday night
they made so many mistakes
but now it’s nobody’s fault
just the fault of that one single kiss.
some people you just have to leave behind
and only make sure you don’t keep
closing your eyes. remember
how we sat on top of the world
and shared a cigarette, a drink, secrets, and our life?
well the roof has a very nice view
(and memories) but nothing else otherwise.

please oh god don’t jump.

I’ll miss you.

stay
it’s been so long since I heard your voice.
everything sounds the same to me now.
well now we’re together we can just hide
in a corner, and you’ll stay with me this time?
we can grow old like this.
I just need your laugh and your words and your smell.
they say the more you grab at something
the more pieces will disappear
but I already got you so stay right here.
I’ll write poems and sing you love songs,
I will never let you go.

I’m not crazy.
only in love.

wander?
between her heart and his lies
there can’t be any more surprises after a while.
like how there’s nothing good on tv anymore
only old reruns, drama serials. but never comedies.
so everything feels like an album on repeat now,
and nothing’s the way it should be
i.e. perfect. no more heartbreak, promise me?
they all want to live in a wonderland
but no one knows where the fire escape is.

a dream is a wish your heart makes.
have you woken up yet?

(written sometime during the course of last week)

/edit well i just remembered something. i slept at 6 pm yesterday and woke up at 9 am this morning. go figure. i must have been really tired, or just have this amazing capacity to sleep as long as i like. i wish i was like sleeping beauty and beautiful and having of nice long hair and waiting for my prince to kiss me and wake me up. unfortunately now i just have my pimply face (which sleep has not done anything for, apparently), extremely curly eyelashes (when i sleep for very long they always become curly, maybe it’s because they’re squished against the pillow. i sleep facedown), and my mom telling me that since my laptop charged all night i should have more than my usual 3 hours on it. lousy computeridiot doesn’t know what the fuck she’s talking about, THE BATTERY ONLY CAN BE CHARGED UNTIL SO FULL RIGHT?! even if you charge it all night it’ll still have the same amount of max. battery charge!!!1!1

all stupid parents should go and die especially when they tell their kids that they have to buy a silicone case for the ipod because when you go skiing, a cloth pouch won’t be enough to insulate the ipod and it’ll die, and theirs will be okay because theirs has a silicone case. stupid woman!!!!!!! argh i think my cloth pouch will provide better insulation lor pls.

i should really start writing down things that i hate my mom doing to me so if i ever have kids i will know not to do those things. i dont know how this update turned into a rant but anyhow the ranting ends here.

i really need to update my categories, but i’m too lazy to reorganise everything. maybe i’ll juse use tags but given my extremely limited memory (i think i’m the only person who has to write down a list of what to blog about) i think they’ll just make my wordpress a general mess. but i do so love spontaneity): only i don’t think anyone reads my blog by category, so if i delete everything and start a new era of categorising no one will mind very much. what do you guys think?!

anyway now on to what i really wanted to blog about. it’s like how i write poems and random bits of drabble about nothing in particular (i.e. original fiction) and if how i wrote fanfic only i would find it nice to read (this is a maybe, too). i think how i write reflects what i want to be like if i wrote original fiction about a cute curly blond boy in That CD Shop and have an unsually beautiful girl come up behind him and have themr andomly meet on what he was listening to, it would really show what i want to be: i.e. unsually beautiful girl with enough courage to tap a cute curlyhaired stranger on the shoulder and go “oh i really like that band too,” and whisper her favourite lyrics into his ear and poof! instant magic attraction.

instead i am nothing but unusual (not beautiful) and i have enough courage to ask a stranger sitting next to me on the bus whether she would like a jellybean, but not enough to do what i really want. i am so shallow wtf.

now i have to babysit my sister.

~ by sydney on January 20, 2008.